I’m not a relationship coach but I feel called to share this message today as it’s been coming up a lot in conversations with friends and clients and our intimate relationships can effect all areas of our lives… they can have a dire effect on our businesses and well-being.

So you’re doing all the work on yourself, reading all the self-development books you can get your hands on, attending events, networking with other people who are committed to raising their vibration and continually improving themselves… but you’re in a relationship and your partner doesn’t seem so thrilled with the new improved you. 

You come home from your event buzzing from all the high-vibes and exciting new information and you’re excited to talk about what an incredible day you’ve had and about all the wonderful new friends you’re making but you’re greeted with grumpy pants at home and a bad atmosphere at best and at worst an argument ensues when your different energies and mindsets clash.

So what do you do?

Well, we can’t change our partners behaviors and trying to will only make things worse but what we can do is look at our side of ‘the street’ and do all we can to bring harmony to the relationship again – that is of course if you want to continue in this relationship!?  If you’re being subjected to any kind of abuse and feel afraid of your partner it’s time to seek help to get out of that situation.  I’m assuming in this case that you’re not being abused by your partner and you would like to stay in the relationship, if so please read on…

Like I said at the beginning, I’m not a relationship coach, so I’d like to share some tips from relationship expert Esther Perel

Three things happy couples have in common

1. They remain curious about each other

“Couples that are really thriving continue to be curious about each other. They don’t claim to already know the other person. They don’t pretend they know what you’re going to say before you even open your mouth.”

2. They are genuinely happy for their partner

“They also are people who are really able to treasure the happiness of the other even if it has nothing to do with them. I’m happy for you, for what’s happening to you. That is generous, it is kind, and it really makes anybody want to come home for that matter.” 

3. They maintain their own personal lives in a relationship

“They also are people who respect a lot of the individuality of each person. Meaning, they are couples who often have quite a large space where each person has worlds of their own… inner worlds of thought, of pursuits, hobbies, passions, or friendships. Rather than hungry people who each are trying to feed off each other.”

“Those three elements, the freedom, the happiness for the other, and the admiration are essential elements of striving relationships,” Perel concludes.